pgd + ivf

My cousin and her family were on KSL last night talking about pgd (pre-implantation genetic diagnosis). It was a good reminder to me that after going through the not so fun procedure of pgd and ivf we were blessed with a very healthy little boy. How different his life would already be if he had hemophilia. And even though it is hard, it is all worth it and we will do it again and again so that our children will be blessed with healthy, normal lives.

Check out the story here.

And a beautiful qoute that I read this morning from Elder Wirthlin (Nov. 2008 Ensign, p.28):
"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. . . every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude."

bedhead

This is what Jace's hair looked like after his nap today.

cars and a baby

Every Sunday after church I ask Jace about nursery. And every Sunday he tells me that he played with cars and with a baby. So this week I decide to take a peek through the little window and sure enough he has a car in one hand and a baby in the other!

I asked his nursery leader about how he "plays" with the baby. She said he just holds it and cuddles it. I think it's great. Jared is wondering if we should be worried. Jace is totally boy and loves all things boys. He just happens to love babies as well.

a BIG toe problem

Jared banged his big toe up playing soccer awhile ago. And he makes it worse every time he plays. Last week he came home from his game in a lot of pain after injuring it again when he kicked another player instead of the ball.


His solution to fixing his toe: drilling a hole in the nail to relieve the pressure and let the blood out. After getting no pain relief, realizing that I was not about to help him drill through his toe (I did of course volunteer to document it with a picture) and a reminder that he did have health insurance he relented to go to the doctor.

So we headed to the instacare (note to self: find a primary care physician for our family) to see the doc. Come to find out, it wasn't the toenail or the blood stuck underneath it causing the problem. It was a broken toe!

Now he is in a lovely boot to protect his toe and not able to play in his first Franson Civil Engineers basketball game next week. On Monday we went to the orthopedic specialist and he said he should be okay to play in about three weeks.

it's all okay

I really am okay, really.

Monday I had a couple of hours of crying and feeling sad. Jared was kind enough to let me sit in my room and cry by myself while he took care of Jace even though it was hard for him too. I mean we really did want this to all work out but if there is one thing I've learned in my life it is that it is His plan not my plan. Crying and feeling sorry for myself is not going to fix or change or make anything better.

And this is when I am so grateful for my testimony and knowledge of the gospel, the atonement and the love that my Heavenly Father and Savior have for me. A simple prayer, recognizing all that I have been blessed with and asking for the power of the atonement to take away my pain makes it all okay. What a beautiful tender mercy.

Thank you for your love and comments and emails that you sent our way. Now on to blogging about other things that fill my life with joy!

bad news

Jace and I headed to Salt Lake this morning to get my blood drawn for the pregnancy test. After waiting 2 hours longer then they told us we got the call that we are not pregnant. We had taken a couple of home pregnancy tests and both showed up negative but we were hoping it was just too early to tell.

After putting all of our emotions and prayers and energy (and money) into this for the last few months we are left saying "what now?" Me, I just want to enjoy the upcoming holiday seasons with my family so that is exactly what I am going to do. And then we can think about our plan of action to get Jace a little buddy to play with, to be annoyed by and to love.

Thank you for all of your prayers and support. We have been blessed with the most amazing family and friends. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! We love you all!

reflections of christ

Just got home from a fabulous fireside by Mark Mabry, the photographer of Reflections of Christ. Truly beautiful and inspiring images of Christ. Art is so powerful. If you haven't seen these yet it is worth your time to watch the slide show here (in fullscreen). It combines two of my favorite forms of art - music and photography.

halloween, etc.

Last Monday we took Jace to Barnyard Boo to celebrate Halloween since he was going to be in Malad the rest of the week. He had a great time playing the games and riding the horse. He decorated his own sugar cookie and then licked all the frosting off. We went on a wagon ride pulled by very "strong" horses (that's what Jace remembered about it).



For Halloween Grandma Tubbs took Jace trick or treating (lucky for him) at the nursing home. I think this is a great idea so maybe we will take him next year to a nursing home around here. My mom had a ninja turtle costume that he decided he wanted to wear. She said at first he tried to give out his candy but by the end wouldn't let go of his bag for anything.



Also, while at Grandma's, Jace got to go to school with her and decorate cupcakes. And, he got to play with Uncle Jakey's trains all week. He had a lot of fun at Grandma's and didn't want to leave.

When he got home we gave him his Halloween card from Great-Grandma and Grandpa Plowman. He loves receiving and opening mail (which he calls email) and was so excited to get a dollar in his card. We gave him a jar to put it in and he wanted to sleep with it and eat with it. He has developed a bit of an obsession with his money so I took advantage of it and bought his Halloween suckers from him for sixty cents. When asked if he is going to save his money he adamently replies, "No! I not save money!"

Yesterday we took Jace with us to vote. He pushed the buttons for Jared and proudly wore his "I voted" sticker.




This morning we woke up to snow. Jace was very excited and put on his coat and snow boots so we could go outside in the snow. When he saw the car he said, "Oh no! The car is all wet."

As for me, I'm feeling fine, taking it easy and just waiting for Monday when I take the pregnancy test. Jared has done a stellar job picking up the slack this past week.