balance
I have been thinking a lot about balance in my life right now. There are so many great things out there to do and explore and learn. I could get lost in a sea of wonderfulness but totally neglect the most important.
For example, I really enjoy photography and design and want to learn as much as I can and get as good as I can right now. But, that would take a lot of time and focus away from my family. But, it doesn't make sense not to have a hobby or learn new things or do something that I enjoy.
Maybe it's the whole "I want it all and I want it now" mentality that is throwing me off. Kind of like the whole paying off school loans and buying a house. Why can't I just have it all now?
Most importantly though, I want to be a good mom and a good wife. I want my family to look back and know that they were the most important things in my life. That they were always more important than the camera or the computer or the book or the t.v. show. I want Jace to remember me on the floor playing trains with him or at the table making silly things out of play dough.
So I guess for the New Year I will be focusing on having balance in my life and remembering that I have a lot of life to live so I don't need it all today. That I can learn and grow a little at a time. And that most of the stuff that I think I need or want won't really matter in a few years. And that I'm okay with being "just a mom" becuase my family is the most important thing and will always matter and right now that is my priority.
*I never really got the whole "mom's sacrifice a lot for their kids" thing until recently. Not that I would really call it sacrificing since the reward is so much better but you know what I mean (or maybe you don't and maybe I don't even know what I mean). I'm sure that my mom gave up a lot for us because she was always right there for us giving us everything. But the great thing is she never let us know that maybe she would rather be curled up on the couch reading a bestseller instead of helping us with a school project that we put off until the last minute. So how do you do it all. Balancing between yourself and your family?
Posts
3 comments:
I can totally relate, not to the Mom part quite yet, but to wanting to learn and do everything right away. It was hard for me at first that I wasn't going to be taking any classes this semester, but for whatever reason I need to pause that for a few months. Thankfully Heavenly Father helped me get over myself and realize that there are a lot of people I can help during this time that I have some "free time" and I feel really blessed for the opportunities that have opened up! I also struggle with wanting to do voice lessons, yoga, study multiple languages, learn so many new thins and on and on all at the same time, but I have to constantly remind myself that there is a time and a season for everything! The key is figuring out what is most important at any particular season in our life.
Boy do I understand what you are saying. I feel like this is something I deal with on a daily basis. What I've come to learn, so far, I know there's still more to learn, is that if I fulfill each area of responsibility and pleasure at least a little bit each day, then I feel better about my days. For example, in the morning I do all the "learning/teaching" activities with my kids (i.e. music, kid exercises, letters, numbers, etc.) for about 2 hours. Then I don't feel as guilty letting my 3 year old watch a show when my 1 1/2 year old sleeps and I read a book for the next hour or so. I think I feel better about this because I know I did do something meaningful with my kids for at least part of the day. Honestly, I don't think our kids need to be entertained all day. I want my boys to be independent in their play, creativity, etc. I know you are doing daily meaningful activities with Jace because he's so brilliant and he's developing a positive self esteem. You're an amazing mother and do deserve TIME to do what fills your cup since you are constantly filling Jace's and Jared's daily.
Good luck with figuring it all out. I know I'm still working on it little by little.
Well I have learned that once you have a certain amount of kids (the number is probably different for everyone) you don't really have time to do what YOU want to do. especially if you are doing what you are suppose to do. Make sense. After 19 years of marriage and 17 1/2 years of motherhood and already asking myself the same question you are, I finally have gotten to do a couple of things that I want to do--and don't regret doing. That is the key. Time will pass. Already I miss not having a toddler. They are special. Older kids are too, but it is different, never to be regained. I wouldn't trade our life for anything, but I wish I would have enjoyed certain aspects of it more. Love you! You are doing a great job. Keep doing it. :)
Post a Comment