in remembrance...

September 11, 2001 will be a day that I will never forget. I was all ready for school about to leave. Lexi, Devin and Jacob had already left on the bus. My mom was in her room with the news on. Just as I was about to walk out the door, she called to me that the one of the twin towers had been hit. I have to admit that I didn't even know what the twin towers were. I watched in disbelief at the news coverage thinking first that it couldn't be real and second (not knowing what kind of plane hit the first tower) what kind of idiot would fly into a building. I left for school and when I got there the second tower had been hit. It was then that I learned that they were commercial planes and that it was the terrorists that did this. I remember the feeling that was in the halls that morning and watching the news in all of my classes that day - watching it happen over and over. I remember it being the topic of discussion for several months as we wondered what was next for our country and our lives. My mom and dad were supposed to go to Alaska the next week but had their trip canceled. In the spring of 2002 I went with my class to Washington D.C. and New York. Driving past ground zero is another thing I will never forget.

I am so very grateful for the men and women who serve and protect our country. Who put their lives on hold and leave their families. I wonder what will happen in my children's lives that they will never forget. I pray that America will be safe and that we will remember who we are and what we stand for as a country, that we can all be united again.

wildlife preserve

The other day as I was driving out of our drive-way I saw this:


We have a regular wildlife preserve going on right here in our yard. This little fellow was looking in our kitchen window one day:


I have also had racoons, squirrels and birds peeping in on our lives. One day Jared was awoken from a nap by this loud chirping noise. When he went out to investigate he saw squirrel, standing on his two little legs atop a rock yelling something at the world. And one afternoon we looked out back to see a couple of deer laying on the grass enjoying the sun. We have also seen a couple of rattlesnacks slithering through the yard. Who needs to go to the zoo when you have one right in your own backyard.

"it's the hormones"

Three years ago when we were going through this process the first time the doctor told Jared to "be patient with your wife because she will be on a lot of hormones." When I was going through it then I would have told you that they didn't affect me and everything was great. However, looking back I can see that I may have been a bit confused because they did affect me. I will admit there were times when I was a bit crazy but at least I can blame it on the hormones.

So what about this time? Well, Sunday I went from being angry to laughing to crying within five minutes. I think we are in for another emotional roller coaster ride. You would think that me being aware of this will make it better but at the moment that the emotions take over it's really hard to step back and take control. It's amazing how fast my mood can change that sometimes I feel like I have no control over it. At least this time Jared and I are a little more aware and maybe can handle it a little better. I feel like I need one of those wood signs with vinyl lettering hanging in my living room that says "it's the hormones".

Today I started my estradiol (a form of estrogen) and continue to take my Lupron shots. The shots are not bad. Just like taking an insulin shot if you are diabetic. Apparently the lower part of your stomach has the least amount of nerves so that is where I do it. It is kind of weird sticking a needle into you and not feeling a thing. The first time is always the hardest but now it's easy peasy. And because this post needs a picture this is the needle I use for the Lupron.


Thanks for all of your support and encouraging words. It really does mean a lot to us. Tweny more days until the transfer!

colleg fb picks: week 2

scoreboard:
Jared 4-5
Jeannie 5-4

Jared's picks
(15) BYU v. Washington -6.5 BYU
UNLV v. (23) Utah -21.5 Utah
USU v. (16) Oregon -34.5 Oregon
Minnesota v. Bowling Green -5.5 Bowling Green
Texas A&M v. New Mexico -2.5 Texas A&M
(18) South Florida v. Central Florida -13.5 South Florida
(8) West Virginia v. East Carolina -8.5 West Virginia
Air Force v. Wyoming -3.5 Wyoming
Georgia Tech v. Boston College -6.5 Boston College
BYU: 13-0
Utah: 10-3
USU: 3-9
National Champion: Oklahoma

Jeannie's picks
(15) BYU v. Washington -6.5 BYU
UNLV v. (23) Utah -21.5 Utah
USU v. (16) Oregon -34.5 Oregon
Minnesota v. Bowling Green -5.5 Bowling Green
Texas A&M v. New Mexico -2.5 Texas A&M
(18) South Florida v. Central Florida -13.5 South Florida
(8) West Virginia v. East Carolina -8.5 West Virginia
Air Force v. Wyoming -3.5 Wyoming
Georgia Tech v. Boston College -6.5 Boston College
BYU: 13-0
Utah: 11-2
USU: 3-9
National Champion: Florida

disclaimer: we do our picks separately so we don't know each other's picks until they are final

jace diaries

dear jace,

this week you figured out how to put your socks on all by your self. i was very proud and a little surprised when you did it. you even made sure that they matched. you also popped one of daddy's birthday balloons and thought it was hilarious. now you are trying to pop all the balloons. your dad has you practicing your basketball shots and has you stand about 2 feet from the hoop. everytime you miss you grab the ball and say "try again" and you never get discouraged. you have made some great shots for a 23 month old.

you wake up every morning between 6:15 and 6:45 - way too early for you. the less sleep you get the harder you are to get along with. you have become more defiant, especially at nap time. your dad and i are trying to figure out how to teach you to obey. it's not so easy being the parent and doing things out of love rather than frustration. be patient with us and we will be patient with you.

we love your sweet spirit and the joy that you fill our home with. we love that you love music and try to sing along with the songs. this week you learned zippeedeedodah and shalalalala (kiss the girl). you also started gymnastics this week and loved it. you listened to everything your teacher said and didn't miss a beat. you worked on the balance beam, the trampoline, forward and backward rolls, balancing and bear crawls. your favorite - swinging on the bars.

keep making us smile,
mom and dad

another baby?

WARNING: long post and lots of reading (sorry I couldn't think of any pics for this)

So, when are ya gonna have another baby?

This seems to be the question of late. About a month ago we started getting this question - a lot. Maybe because Jace is about to turn two, maybe because we don't talk about it much, who knows. It's kind of like the "are you dating anyone?" or the "when are you going to have kids?" questions. I guess it is just that time in our lives when people want to know.

I tend to be a little reserved when it comes to sharing some of the personal things in my life. I think this is for a couple of reasons: one, I don't really like to draw a lot of attention to myself and two, I think that I am protecting myself (you know, if I was pregnant but miscarried it would be easier to deal with if nobody knows, right?).

So, my answers to the "burning questions" from everyone have been fairly vague. Why should I put myself out there and be vulnerable to things not working out (I don't want people to know that my life isn't perfect, right?). After a lot of thinking and humbling and talking with Jared we decided that maybe the best option is to include our family and friends that really do care about us and want to be there for us.

We know that you want to be involved because you love us and want to help and how could you help if you don't know what's going on. With humility, I am realizing that we probably won't be able to do this alone. And most importantly, we really could use all of the extra prayers that we can get as this is all totally in the Lord's hands. We are just praying for the best and trusting in His plan.

So, what is the answer to the question?

We are planning on having another baby and soon. This is an excerpt from my journal on 8.4.08:

"Today Jared and I drove to the University of Utah for a cryo-preservation consultation. Jon and Aubrey were kind enough to watch Jace for us (they strongly discourage bringing kids to any of the appointments). A cryo cycle is a lot less invovled then a full IVF and we've already done it once before. The doctor said pregnancy rate with a cryo (meaning that the embryos are frozen not fresh - we have two in the freezer) is about 40% but we got pregnant once before so we are optimistic. Also, we talked about the placental abruption and the doctor feels like our miscarriage rate is normal since we did carry Jace to full-term (for those that don't know we did have a miscarriage after Jace - the result of a placental aprubtion which we also had with Jace - if that makes any sense). We are excited!"

We set up our "maternity insurance" here. Called the clinic when I started my period, had an ultrasound, sonohystogram, and a trial transfer and picked up my meds. Now I am taking birth control (which Jared blames for any disagreements that we have), pre-natal vitamins and giving myself a shot of Lupron everyday. Our Embryo transfer is scheduled for either Sept. 30 or Oct. 1.

So know you all know. If you really didn't care then that was a lot to read. We'll keep you updated and if you have any questions just let us know. Right now we are just praying that the embryos will thaw and be healthy and vital for the transfer. Thanks for all your support. We love you all.

Happy 28th!

Wishing you a very happy birthday today! Thanks for all the you do for our family! We love you!

picnic in the park

Last night we went on a picnic in the park...

had some swing time...

climbed on the playground...

played a little football...

laughed a lot...

and made some memories!

goodbye old car

goodbye old car and all of your memories...
driving to vegas with roommates
close calls with Jared
running over curbs
decorating disaster
keys that were locked inside
emergency room visits
our first baby
alabama and mexico
overloaded to go camping
visits to the mechanic
Jace's favorite pastime
byu bumper stickers
goodbye old friend

hello new car and memories to come...
hello new car smell
hello new adventures!

labor day hike

We took our scouts on a hike yesterday morning to Battle Creek Falls. It was nice and cool for most of the hike. On the way back down we got a little rain and a little hail.